The Dress Conundrum
by Shuichi Saito
Summary: After a session of shopping with Isabelle, Alexander visits Magnus and hears something that might just change their relationship forever - Of course, all is not what it seems. Humour. Romance and family, NOT angst.


Backstory to the insanity that is this fanfiction:  
>Me: "I want to do a Mortal Instruments story – But I'm not sure what to write about"<br>Friend: "I'm useless at this sort of thing, I don't think I can help"  
>Me: "Just give me the names of some random Mortal Instruments characters, and some random things that I have to include in the story. That should make it interesting"<br>Friend: "Chairman Meow, Isabelle, Alexander, Magnus-"  
>Me: "Uh-huh, keep going"<br>Friend: "-Pot noodles, nail varnish, gloves, ovaries, prostitutes and hungry babies"  
>Me: "...Uh...I think I'll come up with my own idea"<br>Friend: "Too late now, you have to create this thing"

***(The Dress Conundrum)***

Magnus was an eccentric man of varied taste, for instance, while he loved to blast Adam Lambert, Lady Gaga and Culture Club at full volume from his speakers; there were the few rock songs and classical pieces that he would never admit he actually likes.

The 'varied taste' phase didn't of course, apply to only music. Licking his lips, he opened the pantry and grinned a grin that would put the Cheshire Cat to shame, behind him, Chairman Meowed loudly in confusion.  
><strong><br>*(The Dress Conundrum)***

"If I must say so myself…" Isabelle started, she was poised in front of the full length mirror wearing that beautiful dress she'd spotted, she tugged the top of the fitted fabric down slightly to reveal a rather unnecessary amount of cleavage "…I think I look positively gorgeous"

"Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I actually care about your dress" Alec drawled, though a worried tone seeped into his speech "And in my opinion, that 'dress' doesn't even classify as a dress, more like a shirt, You really shouldn't be wearing-"

"All the guys are going to be drooling over my chest, this sweetheart neckline is really doing wonders for my body shape" Isabelle cut in, she twisted to look at the price tag dangling from the neck of the dress. Damn, she'd have to rent her ovaries to a gay couple to pay it off!

"I think the world's population of hungry infants are more likely to be drooling over the unnecessary exposure of your mammary glands" Alec muttered; Isabelle shot him a glare from over her shoulder "Gosh, is there a time where you don't have to be your normal grouchy self! Anyway, you agreed to this. If you helped me pick out an outfit, I wont tell the others about your 'sleepover' with the rather attractive Magnus Bane – Oh, and while you're there, can you ask him what colour shade of nail varnish he had on last time I saw him, it was absolutely darling"

Alec mumbled something that sounded vaguely like 'Kill me now' into his hands, a few passer-bys in the shop cast him a slightly apprehensive look.

"Anyway" Isabelle waved her hand dismissively, the sparkling bangles around her slim wrist clinked together "Off topic. So, does this dress look nice, or is it too over the top? And please, be honest"

"In my honest opinion" Alec said irritably "I think you look like a common street walker, that, or someone's cut the lower half of that garment off with some scissors. That's my honest opinion, can I go now? Magnus is waiting for me and I'm bored"

"Whatever" Isabelle huffed, she grabbed a nearby deep blue crushed velvet dress off the rack and stalked back into the dressing room, people leapt out her way in fear of dropping dead from her murderous gaze. Alec would've been scared, if not for the fact that he'd dealt with her tantrums for nineteen years and had become immune to his dear sisters melodramatic behaviour.

Thankfully, he knew the streets off the back of his hand and made it to Magnus' in record time, mainly because of the fact that he missed him, but also because there was a high possibility that Isabelle might try to tag along and his date with the sparkly warlock would be reduced to something akin to a pre-teen girls sleepover party. Last time that happened, he'd returned to the Institute with smothered in glitter with an unsightly shade of pink on his fingernails, he vaguely remembered that the shade was called 'Naughty Neon Pink', to make it even worse, he'd left his gloves at home that day and they were on display for all his family to see when he got home.

_'And what's with the strange colour names? Naughty?' _Alec thought; he'd climbed the stairs to Magnus' loft apartment and set about unlocking the creaky door _'More like nauseating' _He closed the door behind him and pushed off his clunky boots and hung his jacket up "Magnus?" He called loudly "I'm here, sorry I'm late" His eyebrows furrowed upon hearing no reply, he listened carefully, there was a quiet murmur coming from the kitchen; Thanking his shadowhunter skills, he silently glided over to the door and pressed an ear firmly against the wooden door. When he heard a stifled moan he nearly pushed the door open, nearly.

"Oh" Came Magnus' blissed voice; followed by a strange slurping noise "You're really quite nice. Surprisingly cheap too – I'm so getting you again"  
>Alec felt his heart constrict painfully, especially when he heard his boyfriend utter a quiet "Oooh, I love you" He gripped the handle of the door and swung it open, tears blurring his vision and making his eyes sting "Magnus! I-"<p>

He paused, a look of pure disbelief crossing his fair features, he wiped his eyes with the arm of his jumper.

"Alexander!" Magnus exclaimed, he'd nearly fallen off the chair in shock at his boyfriends sudden appearance "It's not what it looks like"

Alec stifled a chuckle; he didn't know whether to laugh at Magnus' expression or cry at his stupidity. Magnus had a noodle half hanging from his mouth, some chopsticks in his left hand and a steaming carton of Cup Noodle in his right.

"You're…" Alec grinned "…Cheating on me with a Sweet&Sour cup noodle?" Magnus' lips quirked up into an amused smile "Yeah, Hey Alec-"

He was cut off by a quick knock at the door followed swiftly by an "Oi! Magpie! It's your favour gal here! I need emergency fashion advice!"

'_Well' _Alec thought as he stared down his unpainted fingernails (But judging from the lively conversation between his sister and Magnus about the latest 'in' shades, they weren't going to stay that way) _'I'm glad I remembered gloves this time' _  
><strong><br>*(The Dress Conundrum)***

I think I successfully hit all the points that my friend wanted me to address, it's was difficult to include everything, thus making this completely random. But I hope you like it.

On the **Facebook And Other Shenanigans** front, I'm in the process of writing the next chapter, unfortunately, I've got Product Design and Fine Art coursework due in this week so there will be no activity in the next 4 days. But, fortunately! It is half term next week so I'll be able to upload the next chapter up quickly then :)  
>Thank you for your patience. <p>


End file.
